Bret Funk

Title: Master and Commander
Certifications: A+, MCSE w/ Messaging Specialty, Red Cross CPR
Greatest Fear: When machines take over the world, they won't remember how nice I was to them.

Bret was born in the expansive wilds of New Jersey, but migrated to New Orleans in 1994 to attend Tulane University. He earned degrees in Biochemistry and Epidemiology with the intention of entering medical school, and then realized that computers complain far less and require less liability insurance. So he rolled up his fancy diplomas and went back to doing what he had done in high school: computer repair.

Before accepting his place as a Nerd, Bret broadened his horizons with a wide variety of jobs. He worked as a medical technician, a lifeguard, a gene therapy researcher, a ballroom dance instructor, and a farmhand. He's also written a couple of books.